New Job

The earliest memory of my grandfather and I is one of him shouting as I arrive at his farm "chegou o presidente" (the president has arrived). My grandfather's dream was to see me the president of Bolivia, and I believe he worked hard for it. As I lived in Bolivia while he lived in Brazil he will always send me books on political philosophy; he introduced me to Marx, Kant, Locke, Dante, Saramago, Amado and many others. I loved reading the books he sent me, and he continued this for years. The shelf in my childhood room was filled with books of this kind... I believe I have to thank him foremost for the huge effort he put on my education, sending me to Australia and then New Zealand. My grandfather didn't know this but I never had the dream of being Bolivia's president, or to change the world... reality is, that all I wanted and still want is to make a positive change in a small community in the heart of Brazil, a community which I deeply love called Cáceres.

Since 2001, when I arrived in Australia I have been asking myself the question of how to instigate Cáceres to become a modern city, where she can serve as an example for Brazil and the world? This may seem obvious and almost a cliché, but education is the best way to achieve this, but how can you educate the masses I ask? Through the media. So I enrolled in Media Studies at university and since 2003 I've dedicated all my professional energy to understand community media and how it works. Since 2003 until the end of 2009 I worked at Planet FM, first as a radio host, doing basically that, community media; I had the chance of working at Oxfam and learn strategies on how to involve privileged sectors of society to finance community projects; one of my lecturers at university gave me the great opportunity to work on a research project that studies how other countries are educating communities through the democratisation of media.

My grandfather at the end of 2009 was diagnosed with a terminal cancer. When I heard this news, over 3000km away from him in my little desk at University the first thing that came to my mind was, Julio, I think it's time. You've worked hard over the last nine years preparing yourself for this, it was like a wake up call, reminding me of that day in the farm when my grandfather received me in his arms as the future president of Bolivia. I couldn't let him die before he saw the man he worked so hard to shape. So I took the first available flight home with a backpack filled with books, and $300 dollars my partner gave me. Most people that leave South America work hard to earn and save money, but I chose a path filled with misery and poverty, with no glory; people never looked at me and said "look at that successful man". That's how people perceived me in Cáceres after I arrived. "What a waste" I would hear them say, "all these years overseas working and studying and for what? He has built nothing for himself," that's all I heard. But I was determined to follow my dream, so I started planning on what was the best way to bring Cáceres to the future? So, I started fighting Dengue Fever, the community's main cancer at the moment, I spent 9 months doing that, I was so determined to try as much as I can, that I even found myself stranded for three days in a Little town called San Matias in Bolivia with no money to make it back home but, doing research on the problem, at the end of my journey I had to hitch-hike in order to make it back. At the end of the nine months, when I arrived at a point where there was nothing more I could do without resources I started to give up, and think to myself, forget about it Julio, just carry on with your life and look after yourself and your needs. So once again I put on my backpack and with $300 dollars my grandma gave me I arrived in Cuiabá, the closest metropolis to Cáceres. This time I had only one goal in mind, make money and start building my life and my family. I got a job as an editor in a TV station where I got paid $400 for one month's work, I worked nights, holidays, long hours... but that's all I got. I felt the reality many people in South America have, work work work and have barely enough to eat. So I quit, I started giving English Lessons in the afternoon and evenings and doing IT for a law firm. I worked 15 to 16 hours a day, Monday to Saturday and sometimes Sundays... but I finally started making some money enough to pay the bills and save a bit. But I was slowly killing myself, eating only on weekends, sleeping very little... I don't know for how much longer I could have kept it up. But I was doing it and was determined, I wanted to provide a comfortable future for me and my partner of five years...

I have already given up on the dream, my body and soul was slowly being filled with regret and frustration. All I had was faith that slowly things will get better and all I need to do is keep working hard. During the first two months in Cuiabá I went to several companies and institutions looking for a job. But rejection after rejection from so many places I realised that nobody wanted to hire a person with no experience in the corporate, capitalistic world who dedicated most of his adult life to work with communities, what a risk they though, we don't need a modern Bolshevik with the middle name Marx working for us, it's like planting our own seed of destruction. But after I had given up, after I've gotten sick and tired of all the rejections I receive a phone call, from the world's 10th largest food corporation, from Brazil's third largest company. They wanted to have an interview with me. So I went. I was received by a Human Resources officer with whom I talked for about an hour, at the end of the interview she asked me her final question: "if you were in possession of a magical lamp and had the opportunity to ask for two wishes, what would they be?" I knew the answer straight away, the answer has been planted in my mind since I left New Zealand. But I couldn't tell her, not because I was embarrassed or shy but because I knew If I told her I would cry. I explained to her that because it was a personal question I won't be able to answer it. But she insisted and I felt my eyes getting wet, I tried hard to swallow those tears, but the harder I thought the more they flooded, a horrible silence filled the room and all she did was to look at me, and as I told her my wish, the tears went down, all I wanted was my partner to be here so we can follow our dreams together. She smiled and asked me about the second wish, I said that if the first wish was granted there isn't a need for a second one and that's how we ended the interview. When I got on the bus on my way home I saw the dark spot the tears left on my tie. As I lifted my head and watched through the window how the building of the company slowly disappeared I thought wow, one more rejection, what's the point of humiliating myself like this? Then I decided that if I wanted to succeed financially I had to do my own thing and not apply for jobs anymore.
After one month I received one more phone call, from the same person who had seen me cry. She was calling for a second interview, surprised by it I decided to go back. On the second interview I was told with more detail about my role. To do the internal communications of the company, receive and host foreign guests, and the part which attracted me the most, develop community projects for the 3800 employees in our unit to improve their quality of life and for them to feel more closely connected to the company.

Many times I thought to myself that the world is changing and that we need to prepare ourselves for those changes, that there is a silent revolution going on and if we don't wake up amd act we will be left behind. Most people when they hear my theories they think I'm crazy, that I am a hopeless dreamer. But there is a huge multinational company out there that is looking for someone like me, to do the things I was doing happily for free.

I was hired last week. I start on April first. Great isn't it? I will get a good salary to do what I have been doing for the past 7 years, finally. Although I am very happy and look forward to my new job, part of me, perhaps the most important part, feels completely empty, rotten and forgotten, the part of me which I have saved for Mika. She has left me, she has given up on our dream, or perhaps it has always been only my dream. The only thing I would have asked, if I ever found a magic lamp, can't come through and it's all my fault.