11/11/2008

My Addiction

I have been blogging for over three years now and I have never used this medium as a form of therapy. I will give it a try, because to be honest I think that is what I need right now, a bit of psychological analysis because I'm pretty sick. I don't think you will be able to treat me but I am sure your experience will be at least able to give me a diagnose.

I don't think this sickness has developed recently, I have been sick for quite a while. At first I thought it to be a phase, something every teenager went through and it will soon pass. But now, almost ten years later I still have the same problem.

This problem does not constantly affect my life, it is something that happens quite sporadically and without a warning. But when it strikes it strikes so hard that my whole self is affected by it.

Perhaps in order for you to help me I need to tell you the symptoms of my illness. The first symptoms are of ecstasy and exhilaration.

After the blow of excitement has passed I start to do awfully regretful things, I start to act like a real idiot and make the most horrifying remarks. These actions will lead to paranoia and extreme self consciousness, followed by frustration and finally depression.

I have been succumbed by the disease and as a consequence I have lost my ability to rationalise. The harder I try to get cured the worst it gets. At this stage I have become addicted to my illness. I have become a sadistic who is afraid to live without these feelings of despair.

I need help.

4 comments:

Julio Panoff said...

After the second email concerning this post I decided to make it a bit more clear.
Although I am sick, I believe my sickness is common to all of us.
Is love, I am so in love is almost a joke.
Complete infatuation.

Thank you to those who showed their concern over my well being. Appreciate it.

dropedro said...

Cabezao, sos un grande!!

Si la verdad esa es tu enfermedad, pero al mismo tiempo eso es lo que te hace Julio Panoff!!!

Unico lo tuyo, incoherente pero divertido.. ilogico, surreal y creativo a la vez (tambien pelotudo, pero eso es lo gracioso!!)

Man, no seas tan duro con vos mismo y acordate que todos somos parte de la naturaleza... Con nuestros altos y bajos!! Si no fueras como sos, tal vez todos nosotros no nos llevariamos tan bien..
Necesitamos ser como somos para llenar esos espacios vacios.

Aguante el cabezao!!
Fuerza man!
Pedro

dropedro said...

Ah, me olvidaba..
Tu nivel de ingles es buenisimo..
La verdad estoy impresionado con tu prosa en ingles..

Sin embargo, conSejo se escribe con 'S'... BESTIA!!

Agarra los libros en castellano HDP!!
Por el bien del Orurosh

Ah, tambien seria interesante que escribas tus pensamientos sobre Evo y su manera de gobernar Bolivia..

Saludos irmao!

Julio Panoff said...

Gracias Pedrinho!
Pa que que si... me falta lectura en español pa mejorar la ortografía. Ojala eso se arregle cuando vuelva a Bolivia y mi cabezota empiece a trabajar en castellano.

Evo; el próximo post se lo dedico a el.